Luke 14:25‑26 — And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

"And there went great multitudes with Jesus, and He turned, and said unto them..." (Luke 14:25). At this time in Jesus' ministry, there were multitudes of people who followed Jesus. The English language doesn't bring this out, but in the Greek language, this is an imperfect tense. This means that at this time, the great multitudes began to repeatedly and continuously follow Jesus. Perhaps it was because of His miracles or because He fed them, we don't know the exact reason, but great multitudes were following Him. It was at this time that Jesus turned and deliberately said something which appears to have caused many people to turn and follow Him no more.

"If any man come to Me [that means wants go with me, wants to accompany me, wants to follow me, this is the requirement], and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26, brackets mine). As I looked at that scripture, I thought, Lord, you can't mean that. What does that word "hate" mean? It probably means to love less or something like that. As I began to study, however, I discovered that the word literally means "hate."

Jesus used the strongest possible word to emphasize a point. He said unless you hate your father, your mother, your sister, your brother, even your own life, you can't be His disciple. I want to ask you something: What is the closest relationship you will ever have on this earth? It's your mother and father or your spouse and children. What happens if your wife turns against you and divorces you, or your mother and father die? Who will stick with you then? It will be your brothers and your sisters. Jesus said, unless you hate them, you can't be His disciple. What is He saying???

Jesus is talking about the closest relationships we will ever have. He is asking for a commitment from you, a commitment in which He is preeminent. He wants to be number one in your life. He is going to compare His relationship with you to the closest relationships you have on earth. "Hate" is a metaphor, a word of comparison, and Jesus is saying, "My relationship with you is so important that I want it to be above all earthly things." There is one person you love more than your wife, your children, your mother, your father, or your sisters and brothers. Do you know who that is? It's not God... it's you. You love yourself more than you love your closest relationships.

Why do marriages break up? Why do people divorce? Because they love themselves more than they love their spouse. "You're not doing it like I want you to, so I'm getting rid of you."

Jesus said there is one relationship I want to be number one above—it's your own selfish life. This is true discipleship. He is not talking about a no-cost discipleship. He's asking us to follow Him. He's asking to be number one in our lives.